relationships

Relationships are an essential aspect to human life. Now when I say this, I don't mean to limit it to only intimate relationships, I mean the whole gamut of different social interactions we can have with each other. There are 2 major types, or forms of relationships. One that God makes for you, and the other which you choose for yourself. Now, when God makes a relationship, such as that formed between siblings, or between relatives (yes, I would include husbands / wives here) - these relationships are an essential part of life, and regardless of how negative these relationships may feel they cannot be changed. For me, this carries several layers of meaning. Firstly, I must believe that these are the best possible relationships we can have. I don't mean that everyone's home / family life will be perfect. Far from it... I mean that these bonds play an irreplaceable role in shaping our individual psyche. If it weren't for our families, we wouldn't be the people we are... and for better or for worse, these specific bonds are God's way of shaping us in some way.

Looking at relationships that we form ourselves, these include friends, acquaintances, rivals and our interactions with all other people whom we are not related to. These bonds are formed by us and they require us to consciously choose to create and fulfill them. I believe these formed relationships are God's way of giving us a choice in who we become. These represent our free will. These relationships are the ones that act as a mirror. They let us see ourselves, because by looking at those whom we surround ourselves, we have a great view into our own respective persona.

A relationship between any disparate individuals is the basis of being human. These bonds can be driven by fate, or by intent. Both are necessary for true knowledge of the self, for the first step towards knowing the self, is to know others, and how you appear to them. I firmly believe that free will and pre-destination act in many aspects of our lives, however, I feel that this is most apparent in the context of a relationship. The interesting thing in all of this though, is the fact that these bonds are essential to the human experience... why would this be? Because a relationship is a spiritual experience. It isn't something that happens to you only on a material, social and physical level. A relationship, an interaction, a word between yourself and another changes you spiritually. This change can manifest in many ways, but at the end of the day, we should stay conscious of the power we have over others, and they have over us.

Make another person happy, in fact, make everyone as happy as you can, for in this positive bond lies a form of spiritual salvation.

The Nature of Beauty

What is the nature of beauty? We all see things that can touch us, can move our spirits, can motivate our souls, can make our hearts dance - but is there a common theme in what is beautiful?

I ask this while listening to a melody that I would describe as being one of the most beautiful pieces of music I have ever heard... and I wonder... how would you feel if you heard it? For that matter, how will I feel in 5, 10, 15, 20 or more years? Will I still see the same beauty that I see today?

This is also something that I see in people - I hear people say how, so and so was such a beautiful girl that they would have dozens of boys running after them. I look at the same weathered face that once captured the hearts of so many like me, and I wonder. In this chain of thoughts, my selfishness becomes so apparent. Why do I wonder why a person was beautiful when they were young? Why do I wonder if music I find beautiful will always be so? Because I fear change. I fear time. I fear death. These things are not feared (or so I want myself to believe) because they are inherently scary. I fear these things, because I am afraid of doing the 'wrong' thing. I am afraid that in this change, in this process I will lose something incredibly precious. Like the irreversible loss of innocence, losing the ability to appreciate something beautiful is terrible. This is the true crux of the question. Do our tastes change or over time do we simply lose our appreciation for beauty? Does something beautiful become commonplace over the course of our life experiences or does the inherent aesthetic quality I refer to as beauty pass away to nevermore be seen again?

If it goes, if the ability to see things with the same set of eyes is truly forever gone... then I am scared. Because this means that over time, we lose something that is fundamental to being human... this means that we become less human as we grow older. I do see something similar in some ways. I can feel more detached today than I did when I was younger, I can see situations rationally that at one point would elicit a strong emotional response from me. This may be maturity, or it may be the loss of attachment to something in the material world. If this same detachment occurs with our sense of the aesthetic, would we lose our ability to 'see' beauty in this world?

It's something that does bother me... ... until I think of the nature of beauty. Beauty to me is seeing God. Nothing is more beautiful than God... and in the creation it may be possible to participate in the creator. It's a hope, a dream, a prayer... but it's also all I feel we really have. For I do see the fading nature of beauty, whether it fades as a result of time, taste, belief or experiences. Whether beauty becomes diluted or blends - over time, it seems to decrease... but if the true nature of beauty is God, then that means... that means that all we need to do is search - for true beauty, true majesty is in all of creation. It lies in the lifeless object, in the young, vibrancy of youth, in the sweep of colours, in the mournful cry of the flute and in the wrinkles of a grandmother who has seen more smiles and tears than I can imagine.

Humility???

Something I have wondered about for a long time regards the importance of pride.

We have been taught time and again, that humility is one of the greatest of traits for any human being to have, and I can see this being true. Humility is an amazing characteristic, and those who exhibit it are truly great human beings... however, where does this put pride?

Granted those who boast, brag and show off their abilities are not always regarded highly, (the negative images that are brought to mind by simply using the above words are a clear indication of the way these terms are socialized in our respective societies) however, these same characteristics bring a lot of good to the table as well.

No matter how much any person tries, when we succeed in accomplishing a challenging task, we feel good about ourselves. Now here is where I begin to be confused... Isn't this feeling of accomplishment, this positive expression of success... isn't it a form of pride? Wouldn't a humble person know that this success was not theirs at all?

We all feel this positive energy when we have done something noteworthy or when we give to those who need it. We all feel good about ourselves, whether we express this or not, and to be honest, if it weren't for this good feeling, I don't know how much progress our societies would have made. I believe sincerely that the positive 'rush' that accompanies success has served as a primary catalyst for human development. It is the reason many of us love a challenge, it is the reason many of us enjoy solving puzzles, thinking about difficult problems and finding solutions.

So, really, in the final analysis - is pride so bad?

My thoughts on this are mixed. I believe it is necessary to have and exhibit some level or type of pride, being human. Having said this, I also believe that the goal of life is to transcend beyond the limitations of being human. I believe that we are truly noble, with far more nobility than is evinced by our base interactions on this Earth. The goal of giving of yourself, is so that eventually, the act of giving, is no longer a conscious action. It becomes an inherent part of your existence.

So, what I'm trying to say is that good feeling we get when we give, when we work to solve problems, when we help others... That feeling is a part of what prevents us from realizing our true destinies - to be greater than we are, to be creatures of and from God. The holy Qur'an tells us, "From Allah we have come and to Him we will return." Let us try to return to Him with nobility and grandeur - both of which, ironically can only be found through humility.

Time

One of the few things we really can't receive, only give, is time. It's interesting in that way... On a daily basis we are given only so much time. Some of us have very little time on any given day, as every day people die.

So, would I say that the importance of time is tied to our ultimate mortality, and with a deep underlying fear / fascination with the concept of death? No, I feel that the importance of time is separate from the importance of death and life.

I see time as a gift given to us by God. Now we can do whatever we want to with this gift, it's like being given money by a loved one. Both money and time are limited - in that there is a finite amount of it that anyone can have at any given point in time. Additionally, there is only so much you can do with your time - you are limited by your mortal constraints (this would be similar to the age old adage, money can't buy everything). Your time is also extremely easy to waste, and does get wasted, just like money. The major difference here though, is that only God can give time. It is a precious commodity, it isn't something that can or should be spent without careful thought. Before making any major purchase, most people would think on whether it is important to buy, whether they are getting a good price, and whether or not the value is there for whatever they are buying. I don't feel enough of us do this with our time. How many hours do I waste on trivial things that do not matter? How many hours do I lose, that I could truly be doing something else with.

Now don't get me wrong here, I'm not saying that having fun is a waste of a precious resource, far from it - I feel that we need to set aside time for fun, games, laughter, work, prayer... all of these things need our energies and our time. However, I do feel that when I look on a typical day, I don't seem to care what I do with my time... this is truly sad...

In our Isma'ili Ginanic tradition, there exist several examples where our Pirs (The Isma'ili equivalent of a Saint) say that (and I paraphrase) there will come a day, when your days will be like water running through your hands.

When I look back on my life, another interesting observation I have made. Time seems to have sped up for me. This is probably an illusion caused by many possible factors, but when I look back on my childhood, I remember days dragging on, and I remember wishing so often that they would end. I haven't made a wish like that in a while... even the toughest days at work, don't seem as long as those endless days of my younger years.

I don't know if this is true or not but... it is something that has made me think, and that's always a good thing. Maybe I don't want to waste my time, maybe I don't want my days to pass like water through my hands, maybe... just maybe... I am actually scared of what happens next?

No Answers?

I used to have answers... I would be asked so many questions, about spirituality, about God, about existence, meta-physics, and philosophy... and I would always have some answer. Whether it was satisfactory or not... well that was another matter, but questions were meant to be answered... at least that's what I thought.

A few months ago, I was asked a question to which I didn't have an answer - in fact, I still don't despite extensive research and questioning. So, I've re-evaluated everything.

We don't need answers to everything, creation, life, existence, these are all things that may not have a definite answer (or as some believe, there may be an infinite number of answers to each question). Looking at it logically, I believe a person eventually will see that logic can't work (love the oxymoron there). Allow me to explain. If (and this is the big assumption here) we assume that there is a God, then we have to take a host of other assumptions as well tied to the concept of God... All-Knowing, Infinite, Absolute, Powerful, Omniscient, etc... Having made the assumption that there is a God, we know that the concept of God must lie beyond the concept of man. The very existence of God would be a hypothesis impossible to prove, because God by definition would be beyond proof and beyond comprehension. This is where logic (our friend and trusted companion up to this point) must leave us. Since God is beyond comprehension and logic, the only way to truly understand the deepest questions of life, the deepest questions of spirituality would be to experience them. Yes, our minds and bodies are limited... however, our ability to experience and our potential? That is limitless. This region of experience, this ability innate in each of us, surpasses all the knowledge that rote memory can ever bring. Through this grace, a pauper can exceed a king, for the pauper will understand what the king cannot... God.

But this explanation falls short, for even this limits God to the realm of human experience. This is why it's so difficult to articulate what God is... and why it is so important to us to keep trying. We are bound to fail, however, the attempt to articulate the infinite is an experience in itself... one that I propose is essential on the path to truly experience God or at least that which we are given leave to experience.

Restful Greetings

A common Muslim greeting is Asalaam Wa'alaikum - this means (loosely translated), May God's Peace be upon you. In this greeting we ask for peace for the person we greet. In my life, peace sometimes finds itself being synonymous with rest, because for me, being rested is being at peace (I'm very lucky in that way, because of where I live).

However, I find that relaxing sometimes is hard. Let me put that statement into context. I am finishing off the fourth and final year of Dental school. This means that my last final exam was in early April, which has resulted in me doing almost nothing for the past 2 months (at least in the evenings), so what have I done with my time??? ... nothing! I have sat around, doing very little, playing video games, watching anime, watching the occasional movie / TV show (gasp), hanging out with friends, and generally catching up on sleep and rest. So why didn't I feel rested???

This week I was given the fantastic opportunity to sing at the groundbreaking ceremony of the Aga Khan Museum in Toronto Ontario. During this week from Monday to Friday I spent roughly 6 or 7 hours a day singing and a few more hours practicing... daily. Yet, right now I feel more rested, more satisfied and fulfilled than I have felt in almost a year. Why?

A fellow chorister stated it very well during one of our discussion sessions when she said that the feeling of peace sometimes comes not from doing nothing... but from doing what you love. It's perfect, and it's true. When I write about God, I feel at peace, when I use my mind, I feel at peace, when I exercise my body and am active, I feel at peace. Peace abounds in so many things we can do, but choose not to. Why? From my personal experience at least, it's because I felt that I was due for a break, for rest. I didn't realize that the best way for me to rest, was to work harder doing things that I love. Now here comes the tricky part, I'm inherently lazy as well, this means that I have to actually push myself to do things, even things that I love. If I let my mind go on auto-pilot I'll find myself lying in bed instead of reading that novel I really want to finish or writing that blog I want to get around to. This means (for me at least) that searching for peace must be an active process. Though we all want peace, though we all want only the best for ourselves and others - it is something we must work towards. Peace cannot generate itself, because human nature (again, generalizing my own personal experience) will not automatically result in the positive result we would all like to believe it brings about.

Peace is a blessing that we all wish for, but true, inner peace can only come about through effort, love and ... well, there is an element of luck in there as well.

It is 4 am, I am extremely tired... but right now, I, Rahim Shivji, am very well rested.

Khuda Hafiz

Love

Love - it's one of the most abused words in the English language, but maybe not in the same way you'd think... I often hear people saying that the word love is tossed around today and that people often say it when they don't really mean it. Okay, maybe that is true, maybe many times when I hear someone say "I love you" to someone else, it doesn't hold the same weight that it may have meant in another time or another era, but think of it this way... what if we're not saying it enough?

To love is to be human, it's a pure emotion, but what truly is it? You can love people in different ways, depending on who it is and what they have done for you. :) However, where does love come from, and is there an underlying similarity between differing expressions of love? I would argue that there is, and if I may indulge in a moment of condensed storytelling...

The poet Hafiz was an ordinary young man once, who worked in a bakery. One day he was delivering bread to the wealthy district and saw the woman whom he would love for the rest of his life. Hafiz was unable to get her out of his head, and thought of her constantly and even tried composing poetry in her name, although her station in life was far above his, and she was slated to marry a prince. Hafiz heard a legend that a wise master had once decreed that whoever stayed awake near his graveside for 40 nights would be granted 3 gifts, immortality, poetry and his heart's desire. Hafiz chose to attempt this feat. Somehow, he was able to complete it, and on the 39th night near dawn, Hafiz was approached by the angel Gabriel. Gabriel gave Hafiz a cup to drink from, and declared that Hafiz had now been granted immortality and the gift of poetry. Hafiz was then asked what his heart's desire was. Upon seeing the face of Gabriel, all thoughts of Hafiz's beloved were gone, Hafiz realized that everything he loved in the world, was but a reflection of God's beauty. So what did Hafiz say???

He told the Angel Gabriel, "I want God."

I feel this is how we are. Every one of us, loves everyone else... because in each of us we see a minor "reflection" if you will, of God. So, why is it wrong to tell everyone that you love them? I feel that this is a way to increase enlightenment. Loving another is the greatest of acts, for in loving we are recognizing God. We remember God. We love God. By loving others; truly loving them - and ourselves - we bring ourselves up to a higher spiritual level.

So, I say to you,

I love you