My memories

I was recently thinking about my earliest confirmed memory.

It's an odd one. I now know that I was about 3.5 years old. Prior to this moment I had three small, short scenes I recall, however whether those were a dream, false memories or real ones I don't know. This memory is different, from this time onwards I have a steady, unbroken stream of memories.

I was standing in front of the mirror in my parents room looking at myself... That's it.

That's my first memory, while looking at a mirror and seeing myself, I suddenly realized that I was looking at "me."

It's an odd thing to really think about, at that specific moment, I believe I was first able to truly comprehend what an "identity" was, at least in my simplistic way. I realized that there were discrete pieces of existence in the universe and that I represented one of these discrete bits.

Looking back at it, it may also have been one of the saddest moments of my existence...

Some mystics have claimed that God is separated from the human soul by an infinite number of veils. They go on to say that God has allowed the veils to come up, but He has not created them - we have.

Through our sense of self, through our ability to discern that there is a difference between "I" and "we" we find a double edged sword. On the one had, this ability lets us fulfill an important role, as the Qur'an says, we are all "vicegerents of God on Earth" which means we are here to represent God and care for all creation. On the other hand, this role we have taken on grants both intellect and separation.

As Rumi says, we are like reeds separated from the reed bed - we long for the source. If we are separated for long enough, we continue to feel incomplete, but we no longer truly know what to do to feel complete. We lose that connection to the reed bed until eventually, our mournful cry becomes less mournful, we begin to forget what we have lost and look to the world around us to fill the separation within our souls... unsuccessfully.

Coming back to my first memory, this moment was my moment of personal attainment. I began to become a person, I became an individual, but my longing for my reed bed continued and continues to this day... This was the moment (as close as I can tell), when I was looking into that mirror, when I realized who I was, that I forgot who God was.

Thankfulness

I wonder on the nature of being thankful...

One of the most important prayers that I urge others to recite is one dealing with thanking God for all that we have. Nothing that we have in our lives would exist if not for the mercy and kindness of the Big Guy. There are many reasons that thankfulness is encouraged, it emphasizes humility, spiritual growth, understanding of the self and a host of other positives. Through being thankful for what one has, one truly appreciates what one does have and can look past what one does not have. In this way, being thankful is a way in which the trap of the material world can be overcome.

So, for all of these reasons, I personally give thanks and encourage others to give thanks. There are many things that we can appreciate in our lives, our health, wealth, bodies, homes, families, friends, communities, the fact that we are alive in a beautiful vibrant world. That new toy or material object that brings us so much joy.

But one aspect of thankfulness that exists in my own life is one I seem to constantly overlook. Thankfulness towards those around me, my family, friends and loved ones.

By saying this, I do not mean to say that being thankful to God for all that He has given is lessened in any way, however, over the course of our everyday lives, there are so many people that give so much to help us out. Be it intentionally or unintentionally, the impact of others around us is immense. We are social beings, so social contact moulds who we are. Be it a brother who sacrifices time, money and energy in small or large ways, be it another sibling who acts simply as an example of what we can be or wish to be. Be it a father or a mother who give so much time and energy towards raising us and keeping us fed and entertained. Be it a friend or significant other who gives of their time to help you. People around us deserve to be thanked. Even for those who do not appreciate significantly what others around them do, there are lessons to be learned from what others have done or have not done, and for these lessons, if not anything else, we should give our thanks.

Giving thanks to others in our lives can take many forms, the obvious way to thank another person would be to tell them, however, if that individual has given you something intangible, it is difficult to thank them. As logical beings, we need to have reasons for events, we do not appreciate intangibles and coincidences. So, another way to thank those around you would be to include them in your prayers.

When giving a prayer of thanks to the Almighty, add a word of thanks for those who have touched you. They may never hear it, but when you say those words of thanks, you gain so much benefit. This ritual of thanking others will also result in truly realizing and appreciating some of the things that are done for you without you even realizing.

Words have great power, God taught mankind with words, we pass on knowledge using them, but we can also use these same words to strengthen our own faith and our relationships with others around us. For by growing as physical creatures, we also grow spiritually.

Thank you.

Ways to prostrate

The famous poet Rumi once wrote (and I am paraphrasing... it's translated from Persian anyways, so I'm sure I won't botch it too badly), that there are hundreds of ways to prostrate, hundreds of ways to bow in prayer...

I was thinking about that, and I realized that it's true in a very devious way.

Every individual has their own conception of what the Divine is... even those who choose not to recognize any form of a Divine presence at all, still choose to conceive of Divinity as non-existent.

So, even a complete atheist recognizes that there could be a Divine presence, but they are choosing to follow a set of facts, evidence and beliefs that imply that there is no Divinity.

In this recognition of the possibility of Divinity, we see a deep seated expression of humility.

Even the most staunch believer or disbeliever in God will have to acknowledge that at the end of the day, we do not know. One who does not believe in God would have to say that nothing is completely certain, and they cannot disprove God's existence (the null hypothesis cannot be fulfilled), even if hundreds of pieces of anecdotal evidence point towards their set of beliefs. Conversely, a believer, even one who is completely staunch in their beliefs would have to agree that they can never comprehend God. God is far beyond the human psyche, God extends past what any individual mind can conceive, therefore, one can believe in God, but one cannot rule out the possibility of God not existing, simply because God cannot be conceived of by the human mind... therefore, anything pertaining to the existence of God, would also be beyond the comprehension of the human mind.

with me so far?

Thinkers from the era of the Fatimids (a Muslim Dynasty that ruled Egypt and area extending from North Africa to Sindh about a thousand years ago) worried about this contradiction as to the human definition of God. How could the human mind think on God without a definition? How could God be defined with the limits of language? Could God be proven?

Ultimately they settled on a simple definition called the Theory of Double Negation. It states that, God is Not a thing (i.e. does not exist), and (that's the inclusive and for my logic speaking friends) God is Not Not a thing.

That was the best that the brightest minds of the world could come up with.

Looking at this and going back to the beginning we see that humility abounds in this.

If we cannot prove or disprove God's existence, then the existence of the concept of God serves it's own purpose. It shows us that we are NOT infallible, that we are not perfect, that with some things we will never have all the answers.

If we don't have all the answers, then isn't that the perfect expression of humility? The simple concept of God, acts as a shield against our own pride. We cannot prove or disprove God, we can never truly know. Just as we can know the position of an electron but not it's speed (and vice versa), similarly, we won't know about God.

So, what if we're wrong? What if there is no God and we believe? ... well, as long as each faith tradition is lived fully and truly and one recognizes the importance and sacredness of human life and ethical living... it doesn't hurt to bow down in any way that we see fit.

And the other way? What if there is a God and we don't believe? ... well, if God is truly as merciful as He claims to be, I'm sure He won't mind us using the gift He gave us, our intellect in a way that we see fit.

Just as long as we think about it.

Optimism

I feel a need to write something to differentiate two very different things.

I often hear of individuals who choose to believe the best of others, who choose to believe that whatever happens, does for a good reason and in the end the eventual outcome of all events will be positive. I also usually hear these same people referred to as "naive" or as "innocent." I don't believe it.

A naive individual is one who is ignorant. Naivete implies that one does not know, does not understand the truth of the world. An innocent person, likewise remains enclosed within a bubble where all is good.

I do not believe the majority of people who believe firmly in their positive overview of the world are like this at all... Rather, I would argue that most people know that believing in the good over the bad results many times in disappointment.

Having an idealized perspective of the world is one that is difficult to hold, it requires a truly thinking and intelligent person to willingly forgo their own instincts, overlook that voice of cynicism and believe. Really, truly believe in another person.

I believe that this perspective of the world is not naivete, rather it is optimism. When one is optimistic, one knows that there is a 70% chance that they will get ripped off or that a negative outcome will occur. However, there is also that 30% chance that humanity is worth believing in, that people are trustworthy. This form of optimism seems foolish when looked at in this light, but it runs deeper.

When one truly believes in humanity, when one has faith in their fellow creatures, that person is treating us as an all-merciful God would. Through faith in mankind, faith in God is strengthened... and that "optimism" becomes something more, it becomes prayer.

Service

Service to mankind is something that many of us are encouraged to do. I would argue that at times, we are driven by ourselves to work for the benefit of others... but what is true service?

When I think of service, I think of selflessness. I think of working for the benefit of others, regardless of the net benefit or gain that you receive.

This, however also means that the principle of service supercedes the audience receiving that service... what does this mean? It means that even when one hates the individuals one is expected to help, even if the crowd one is serving is bigger or smaller than expected, even if it means that you have to deal with a situation that is unpleasant or unwanted... the true principles behind serving others needs to be foremost in the mind of the individual who wishes to serve.

The principles behind service lie in the root of being a human being. As a human, we are all gifted with the ability to be altruistic. We can work purely for the benefit of others, not for any personal gain at all. I believe that this principle plays an important role in what we view as service. Other entities in creation do not often work for the benefit of others if it is detrimental to them... however, as human beings, as creatures that have a spark of intellect, we are able to work for others, even when that hurts us.

Service also brings with it the basic principle of humility. When we serve others, we serve God... we serve God as He appears in that other individual... what do I mean by this? Service to mankind, is truly service to God. When we see an individual who is struggling, when we see someone that needs help, most people want to help that needy person. I would propose that the desire to help another, particularly in their time of need, may derive it's impetus from evolutionary grounds (working in a joint social environment does drive that sort of behavior), however, the lengths to which we can go to help another in need can be astounding. People can sell all of their belongings, give away everything - simply to help strangers.

What could this be, but humility? Knowledge that we live as simple creatures, and we will die as simple creatures. The only thing that we can put on this Earth that will last, are our actions and deeds.

Service, in this way, is the truest expression of humility there is, for when we serve, we are bowing ourselves to God, because we see God in everything and everyone we serve.

Perfect Faith

Religion is an interesting phenomenon. I am an Isma'ili Muslim, a small community of interpretation in a wider Muslim Ummah, which in turn makes up the wider human race with a myriad of religions, faiths, belief systems and even the lack of any belief at all.

However, one aspect of religion, specifically Islam in general has always made me think about the purpose of religious belief... In Islam we believe that God has revealed His message to Mankind over several millenia, with each message successively bringing Mankind closer to the truth until finally Islam was revealed - the religion of submission, of peace, of tolerance. This is Islam... and when God revealed this faith to Mankind, He completed His favours upon Mankind as religion had finally been perfected in the form of Islam.

... Why perfect it?

That's the question that has stuck with me. Why make it perfect?

Mankind isn't perfect, we make mistakes all the time, we err, we correct some errors, we don't correct others. If it was so important to perfect faith, why is it so fragmented in the first place? Why do we have so many splits and divides in the interpretations of Islam if it was supposed to be perfect? Why are there so many religions in the world today if one is enough?

Many have argued that each interpretation of Islam is relevant and is correct, which is admirable. If this is the case however, why even create Islam in the first place? Why not stick to what was correct about the other faiths that were already extant at the time?

Faith and religion to me represent a pathway to moral behaviour for society and people... however if this was the only purpose for them there would be no reason to lay down hundreds of pathways. Most faiths have similar tenets and encourage people to be good, and often-times the definition of what is "good" is similar if not the same.

To me, this seems to imply that faith and religion occupy a position within the human psyche that extends beyond simple morality. They must have a role that extends beyond something as common as morality, to simply account for the differences in each faith. The more I think about it, the more I believe that religion is needed for people to experience God while alive.

What is the significance behind this? If God cannot be seen, only experienced, there must be different ways in which an individual can experience God. God is infinite and beyond infinite. This means that the number of pathways to reach God must likewise be infinite and beyond infinite. The experience of God is only limited by the experiencer's limitations.

Every faith in the world can lead one to God in some way, and this is the reason for perfection in faith.

Islam as it is practiced today in the world may not be perfect, but the underlying message is. The underlying message of deep submission, of peace, of giving up the very self... Because the self is the key that must be given up to open the door that is God. That's the perfection that needs to be shown to the world. That by it's very name, Islam gives one the answer to what to do to "find" God.

No Answers?

I used to have answers... I would be asked so many questions, about spirituality, about God, about existence, meta-physics, and philosophy... and I would always have some answer. Whether it was satisfactory or not... well that was another matter, but questions were meant to be answered... at least that's what I thought.

A few months ago, I was asked a question to which I didn't have an answer - in fact, I still don't despite extensive research and questioning. So, I've re-evaluated everything.

We don't need answers to everything, creation, life, existence, these are all things that may not have a definite answer (or as some believe, there may be an infinite number of answers to each question). Looking at it logically, I believe a person eventually will see that logic can't work (love the oxymoron there). Allow me to explain. If (and this is the big assumption here) we assume that there is a God, then we have to take a host of other assumptions as well tied to the concept of God... All-Knowing, Infinite, Absolute, Powerful, Omniscient, etc... Having made the assumption that there is a God, we know that the concept of God must lie beyond the concept of man. The very existence of God would be a hypothesis impossible to prove, because God by definition would be beyond proof and beyond comprehension. This is where logic (our friend and trusted companion up to this point) must leave us. Since God is beyond comprehension and logic, the only way to truly understand the deepest questions of life, the deepest questions of spirituality would be to experience them. Yes, our minds and bodies are limited... however, our ability to experience and our potential? That is limitless. This region of experience, this ability innate in each of us, surpasses all the knowledge that rote memory can ever bring. Through this grace, a pauper can exceed a king, for the pauper will understand what the king cannot... God.

But this explanation falls short, for even this limits God to the realm of human experience. This is why it's so difficult to articulate what God is... and why it is so important to us to keep trying. We are bound to fail, however, the attempt to articulate the infinite is an experience in itself... one that I propose is essential on the path to truly experience God or at least that which we are given leave to experience.