A man recently committed suicide... Before doing so, he published a webpage detailing why.
I saw a copy of the webpage (the original was taken down soon after being posted) here http://www.zeroshare.info/
On his webpage, Martin Manley talked about the struggles people face as we age, he decided that he did not want to face those struggles, he wanted to take things into his own hands, he wanted to choose the time and place of his death, so he did.
The term suicide is associated with a great deal of stigma and there have been various reasons offered for this. This gentleman was actually very eloquent. His perspectives on life and death are worth reading. He discusses the fact that he did not commit suicide for any traditional reason, but rather, the end-goal seemed to be control (my words, not his), control of his destiny, control of what he will be remembered for. I'm sure many of us have thought of an "age-limit" where we at this point in time we would presumably be happy to die. For those who have thought of this, it may be that we would ideally live to be 70, for some it would be a lower, or higher number, regardless, very few people with whom I've had this discussion state that they would like to live as long as physically possible, because they don't wish to suffer. They don't want to be a burden on others, they don't want to live, simply for the sake of living.
The arguments Martin Manley makes are very logically sound. Why would anyone want to "push through" their latter years when these years are filled with the greatest challenges?
But then, we look at human nature... It is in our nature to survive. We NEED to survive. People "fight for their lives" regularly... Why? We fight through pain, through suffering, through deprivation and hardship to live. What makes us want to live so badly that we can and do push through terrible circumstances?
I think that if one looks simply at Martin Manley's arguments from the perspective he offers, they seem very sound, but one needs to look at them from a spiritual perspective as well...
At times, even when a person seems to be suffering, we cannot understand their spiritual experiences... in fact, they may not understand their spiritual experiences either. Even a person who is in a vegetative state has some unknowns... We don't know whether that individual can have any experiences, and so, we are unable to judge.
If we look at a human life as a conglomeration of the physical and the spiritual, we may find that the individual undergoes numerous transformations. However, even the negative transformations that accompany injury, age, disease, etc... may still be necessary for a spiritual journey. I know this may not bring relief to a person who is truly suffering, but sometimes that is a necessary aspect of life. Cutting one's own life short is a decision that assumes that there is nothing left to live for, when in reality, there is a spiritual journey still left. If someone looks in the right places, they'll always find something to live for. That is why we struggle to stay alive. Yes, we are instinctively driven to survive at all costs, but we don't choose en masse to die because we all have something to live for, whether we recognize it or not and whether it is physical or spiritual. Life is not simply an obstacle to salvation, nor is death the relief of suffering. Life is a pathway, and death is the gate. The destination depends on where the gate is and where the path has taken you.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Sunday, September 29, 2013
My secret fear
I live in perpetual fear that someday, at some time, a seeker of truth will come up to me and ask me, "what's the true purpose of prayers and ritual? If faith and intention are the most important things, what's the purpose of differences in physical practice?"
It's a tricky question. The essence of the question is asking what is the true purpose of physical expression, or does physical expression have a true purpose when dealing with mindful intention?
Prayer acts as a bridge between the physical and the esoteric. It plays a vital role in bringing our spiritual selves into our lives, yet we always talk about the intention behind the prayer being the most powerful and most important part... but what about the physical?
I mean, when I hear someone reciting their prayers and I hear obvious mistakes, I often take it upon myself to correct those mistakes, because in this way I help that person... right?
but, if the intention is the most important part of the prayer... then why correct it? Why worry about the physical manifestation? Why does it matter if a person does not raise their hands when asking God for something? Why does it matter if an individual recite their prayers correctly?
Obviously, it doesn't matter THAT much... obviously the intention is the most important part of it... but does that mean that the physical aspects are unimportant? Does that mean that we should allow mistakes to creep into our practices... In fact, why even cling to the practices of the past? We are praying by intention now! In fact, why even differentiate religions? As long as we agree on basics, let's just lump everyone together!!!
There are some problems with this train of thought... Prayers and their physical expressions are important towards not only expressing the spiritual, but also to establishing a spiritual identity. This does not mean that any particular identity is superior to another, far from it, but the essence of the physical action works towards creating a sense of self within a religious whole. When I pray to God, I do so surrounded by others in a chorus, a litany. Be it silent or loud. That sense of community is a part of being closer to God, because through this community God's presence is felt in our daily lives. The physical actions that accompany any prayer are essential and cannot be ignored, they are important. How we say our prayers, how we hold our hands... Although these things should never be a source of conflict amongst people, nonetheless, they hold weight in our collective consciousness, and so they should. Whether we greet each other in a unique manner, or commune with God in differing ways, "prayers" and rituals in this manner serve a greater purpose. They let you be you, while belonging...
Maybe that's what I'll say when my greatest fear is realized?
It's a tricky question. The essence of the question is asking what is the true purpose of physical expression, or does physical expression have a true purpose when dealing with mindful intention?
Prayer acts as a bridge between the physical and the esoteric. It plays a vital role in bringing our spiritual selves into our lives, yet we always talk about the intention behind the prayer being the most powerful and most important part... but what about the physical?
I mean, when I hear someone reciting their prayers and I hear obvious mistakes, I often take it upon myself to correct those mistakes, because in this way I help that person... right?
but, if the intention is the most important part of the prayer... then why correct it? Why worry about the physical manifestation? Why does it matter if a person does not raise their hands when asking God for something? Why does it matter if an individual recite their prayers correctly?
Obviously, it doesn't matter THAT much... obviously the intention is the most important part of it... but does that mean that the physical aspects are unimportant? Does that mean that we should allow mistakes to creep into our practices... In fact, why even cling to the practices of the past? We are praying by intention now! In fact, why even differentiate religions? As long as we agree on basics, let's just lump everyone together!!!
There are some problems with this train of thought... Prayers and their physical expressions are important towards not only expressing the spiritual, but also to establishing a spiritual identity. This does not mean that any particular identity is superior to another, far from it, but the essence of the physical action works towards creating a sense of self within a religious whole. When I pray to God, I do so surrounded by others in a chorus, a litany. Be it silent or loud. That sense of community is a part of being closer to God, because through this community God's presence is felt in our daily lives. The physical actions that accompany any prayer are essential and cannot be ignored, they are important. How we say our prayers, how we hold our hands... Although these things should never be a source of conflict amongst people, nonetheless, they hold weight in our collective consciousness, and so they should. Whether we greet each other in a unique manner, or commune with God in differing ways, "prayers" and rituals in this manner serve a greater purpose. They let you be you, while belonging...
Maybe that's what I'll say when my greatest fear is realized?
Thursday, September 19, 2013
The Art of Conversation
I had a very odd conversation today. I was speaking to a Psychiatrist (there is an unjustified taboo against that phrase but just to clarify, it was to ask for help with a volunteering project), and I had this strange sense that our conversation was odd. I felt awkward and couldn't figure out why as I'm usually confident in most conversations. Maybe he didn't want to talk to me? Maybe he was sending out vibes regarding not being interested in the volunteer opportunity? Maybe... Then it hit me.
It felt awkward and odd because this other member of the conversation was intently listening to everything I was saying. He was completely silent while I was speaking, I didn't feel any sense of being... rushed...
After the conversation, my first thoughts went to why it was so awkward, what had he done, or what was he trying to tell me through silent language? That made me think, was it really a message or was I the one who handled the conversation the "wrong" way?
Looking back at other conversations I've participated in, it seems as though oftentimes everyone is anxiously trying to state their opinion as quickly as possible... often we miss opportunities to communicate and to listen. Thinking back on that makes me a bit sad. Just reflecting on this "awkward" conversation led me to learn so much. How much would I have learned in my life if I was a much better listener?
We only live for a short period of time, and maybe that's what gives us such a sense of urgency in our lives. We need to do everything we can... right? Or rather, is it more important to do everything we should do and must do, and do it with a sense of intention? I don't know exactly which way is the right way, but I feel as though doing a few things with intention and with love would lead to more satisfaction in our lives and our societies. Maybe if we all just took a moment to breathe and listen we would hear more. Maybe that's one of the many paths we can take to God. To listen to each other.
What do you say? Please allow me to listen.
It felt awkward and odd because this other member of the conversation was intently listening to everything I was saying. He was completely silent while I was speaking, I didn't feel any sense of being... rushed...
After the conversation, my first thoughts went to why it was so awkward, what had he done, or what was he trying to tell me through silent language? That made me think, was it really a message or was I the one who handled the conversation the "wrong" way?
We only live for a short period of time, and maybe that's what gives us such a sense of urgency in our lives. We need to do everything we can... right? Or rather, is it more important to do everything we should do and must do, and do it with a sense of intention? I don't know exactly which way is the right way, but I feel as though doing a few things with intention and with love would lead to more satisfaction in our lives and our societies. Maybe if we all just took a moment to breathe and listen we would hear more. Maybe that's one of the many paths we can take to God. To listen to each other.
What do you say? Please allow me to listen.
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Time Machine
A time machine would be a wonderful tool. We could use it to undo many things in the past that we regret. We could use it to better our world, ourselves, those around us... but it can't exist...
Why?
From a physics perspective, some physicists believe that we are 3 dimensional beings, existing in a 3 dimensional world, able to experience in 3 dimensions, with just a touch of a 4th thrown in. That 4th dimension is time.
The way in which time works in this theory would be similar to a river (not the water in the river, the actual river itself). The river exists as a continuous stream from beginning to end. All aspects of the river are present. Our experience of this river would be as a rock embedded in the riverbed. We would experience the river constantly changing and moving around us, and it is, however the actual river itself exists as a whole at all times, only our perception of the specific river in our surroundings changes.
This means that our perception of time determines our experience of it. Time itself is not a linear concept, however we perceive it as such. This in turn determines our conception of time.
So, we can't change the past, the present or the future... A very interesting argument indeed.
From a spiritual perspective I like this theory with some reservations. I do agree with the theory that time itself exists outside the human perception and that all aspects of time exist simultaneously (that is, that in reality, past, present and future happen at the same time), however it leaves me wondering about the importance of perception in determining reality. If something is perceived in a certain light, does the perception of it alter it's reality? The same argument that Heisenberg made modified. You can determine the speed of an electron or it's position in space, but not both... Your perception of the electron in terms of discovering it's speed alters the reality of it's position and vice versa.
I wonder if the same can be said of time? Time exists in a single continuous stream, but my perceiving time as this moment must in some way alter it...
I can't know, all I do know is that my perception of time tells me it's limited and a precious commodity that I have only a very limited amount of.
Let's take a moment to think on that.
Why?
From a physics perspective, some physicists believe that we are 3 dimensional beings, existing in a 3 dimensional world, able to experience in 3 dimensions, with just a touch of a 4th thrown in. That 4th dimension is time.
The way in which time works in this theory would be similar to a river (not the water in the river, the actual river itself). The river exists as a continuous stream from beginning to end. All aspects of the river are present. Our experience of this river would be as a rock embedded in the riverbed. We would experience the river constantly changing and moving around us, and it is, however the actual river itself exists as a whole at all times, only our perception of the specific river in our surroundings changes.
This means that our perception of time determines our experience of it. Time itself is not a linear concept, however we perceive it as such. This in turn determines our conception of time.
So, we can't change the past, the present or the future... A very interesting argument indeed.
From a spiritual perspective I like this theory with some reservations. I do agree with the theory that time itself exists outside the human perception and that all aspects of time exist simultaneously (that is, that in reality, past, present and future happen at the same time), however it leaves me wondering about the importance of perception in determining reality. If something is perceived in a certain light, does the perception of it alter it's reality? The same argument that Heisenberg made modified. You can determine the speed of an electron or it's position in space, but not both... Your perception of the electron in terms of discovering it's speed alters the reality of it's position and vice versa.
I wonder if the same can be said of time? Time exists in a single continuous stream, but my perceiving time as this moment must in some way alter it...
I can't know, all I do know is that my perception of time tells me it's limited and a precious commodity that I have only a very limited amount of.
Let's take a moment to think on that.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Physics
As some of you may know physicists at the Large Hadron Collider recently discovered probable proof of the Higgs-Boson!
Great news, any scientific discovery is an important one but this one ties together so many things about the universe... Except it doesn't. The discovery wasn't a perfect one because there were some slight differences between what was seen and what was expected. In a nutshell, we cannot explain the entirety of the universe(s) yet. This may also mean that there may be more than one universe... An interesting concept.
Why talk about this here? Well, religion tells us that the true scope of creation lies far beyond anything we could even begin to imagine... and that refers to only the creation of God, not the Creator.
We will never fully understand and transmit everything, we are probably incapable of it - partially because we are limited in our abilities to articulate and understand and partially because of our innate curiosity and inability to stop. Human beings will never stop trying to grow and because of this, God shall not stop creating.
This leads to the crux of this message today. Some believe that when we discover some phenomena, that moment is when God has created it. Others feel this idea is ludicrous, but it may hold some weight.
Looking at the Higgs-Boson, it is almost like an author saw an opportunity to add a plot twist into a perfectly convenient story. It was perfect. Einstein discusses relativity, if we believe the universe follows a set of laws, that will lead us to the truth, we keep following this path making amazing discoveries... only to find that the set of laws are not fixed. There are a vast multitude of laws and ours...? Ours is an extremely unlikely, rare possibility. One of an almost infinite number. Every law we followed wasn't the truth because the real truth lies beyond all laws, all belief, all understanding.
The truth is beauty. An incomprehensible concept, one that we can't sandbox into the rules of science or religion or even of the universe. The truth is art. Something purely creative, chaotic and ordered at once.
Great news, any scientific discovery is an important one but this one ties together so many things about the universe... Except it doesn't. The discovery wasn't a perfect one because there were some slight differences between what was seen and what was expected. In a nutshell, we cannot explain the entirety of the universe(s) yet. This may also mean that there may be more than one universe... An interesting concept.
Why talk about this here? Well, religion tells us that the true scope of creation lies far beyond anything we could even begin to imagine... and that refers to only the creation of God, not the Creator.
We will never fully understand and transmit everything, we are probably incapable of it - partially because we are limited in our abilities to articulate and understand and partially because of our innate curiosity and inability to stop. Human beings will never stop trying to grow and because of this, God shall not stop creating.
This leads to the crux of this message today. Some believe that when we discover some phenomena, that moment is when God has created it. Others feel this idea is ludicrous, but it may hold some weight.
Looking at the Higgs-Boson, it is almost like an author saw an opportunity to add a plot twist into a perfectly convenient story. It was perfect. Einstein discusses relativity, if we believe the universe follows a set of laws, that will lead us to the truth, we keep following this path making amazing discoveries... only to find that the set of laws are not fixed. There are a vast multitude of laws and ours...? Ours is an extremely unlikely, rare possibility. One of an almost infinite number. Every law we followed wasn't the truth because the real truth lies beyond all laws, all belief, all understanding.
The truth is beauty. An incomprehensible concept, one that we can't sandbox into the rules of science or religion or even of the universe. The truth is art. Something purely creative, chaotic and ordered at once.
Sunday, June 9, 2013
My memories
I was recently thinking about my earliest confirmed memory.
It's an odd one. I now know that I was about 3.5 years old. Prior to this moment I had three small, short scenes I recall, however whether those were a dream, false memories or real ones I don't know. This memory is different, from this time onwards I have a steady, unbroken stream of memories.
I was standing in front of the mirror in my parents room looking at myself... That's it.
That's my first memory, while looking at a mirror and seeing myself, I suddenly realized that I was looking at "me."
It's an odd thing to really think about, at that specific moment, I believe I was first able to truly comprehend what an "identity" was, at least in my simplistic way. I realized that there were discrete pieces of existence in the universe and that I represented one of these discrete bits.
Looking back at it, it may also have been one of the saddest moments of my existence...
Some mystics have claimed that God is separated from the human soul by an infinite number of veils. They go on to say that God has allowed the veils to come up, but He has not created them - we have.
Through our sense of self, through our ability to discern that there is a difference between "I" and "we" we find a double edged sword. On the one had, this ability lets us fulfill an important role, as the Qur'an says, we are all "vicegerents of God on Earth" which means we are here to represent God and care for all creation. On the other hand, this role we have taken on grants both intellect and separation.
As Rumi says, we are like reeds separated from the reed bed - we long for the source. If we are separated for long enough, we continue to feel incomplete, but we no longer truly know what to do to feel complete. We lose that connection to the reed bed until eventually, our mournful cry becomes less mournful, we begin to forget what we have lost and look to the world around us to fill the separation within our souls... unsuccessfully.
Coming back to my first memory, this moment was my moment of personal attainment. I began to become a person, I became an individual, but my longing for my reed bed continued and continues to this day... This was the moment (as close as I can tell), when I was looking into that mirror, when I realized who I was, that I forgot who God was.
It's an odd one. I now know that I was about 3.5 years old. Prior to this moment I had three small, short scenes I recall, however whether those were a dream, false memories or real ones I don't know. This memory is different, from this time onwards I have a steady, unbroken stream of memories.
I was standing in front of the mirror in my parents room looking at myself... That's it.
That's my first memory, while looking at a mirror and seeing myself, I suddenly realized that I was looking at "me."
It's an odd thing to really think about, at that specific moment, I believe I was first able to truly comprehend what an "identity" was, at least in my simplistic way. I realized that there were discrete pieces of existence in the universe and that I represented one of these discrete bits.
Looking back at it, it may also have been one of the saddest moments of my existence...
Some mystics have claimed that God is separated from the human soul by an infinite number of veils. They go on to say that God has allowed the veils to come up, but He has not created them - we have.
Through our sense of self, through our ability to discern that there is a difference between "I" and "we" we find a double edged sword. On the one had, this ability lets us fulfill an important role, as the Qur'an says, we are all "vicegerents of God on Earth" which means we are here to represent God and care for all creation. On the other hand, this role we have taken on grants both intellect and separation.
As Rumi says, we are like reeds separated from the reed bed - we long for the source. If we are separated for long enough, we continue to feel incomplete, but we no longer truly know what to do to feel complete. We lose that connection to the reed bed until eventually, our mournful cry becomes less mournful, we begin to forget what we have lost and look to the world around us to fill the separation within our souls... unsuccessfully.
Coming back to my first memory, this moment was my moment of personal attainment. I began to become a person, I became an individual, but my longing for my reed bed continued and continues to this day... This was the moment (as close as I can tell), when I was looking into that mirror, when I realized who I was, that I forgot who God was.
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Pushing the rocks!
There is an old story about a man who is asked by God to push a rock.
The rock is large in size, but the man tries. He pushes and strains... no movement.
The man puts his back into it. Bears his might... no movement.
The man puts every ounce of strength he has and pushes. Then when he can push no more, he takes a minute to rest and tries once again... still, no movement.
Finally God returns, and the man apologizes. "I'm so sorry, I just could not move the rock."
God smiles at the man and tells him, "I didn't ask you to move the rock. I asked you to push it."
This short story contains a great deal of wisdom... Many times in our spiritual journeys, we find tasks that are exceedingly difficult. For me, one of these difficult tasks is finding the time and will to wake up early in the morning to pray on a daily basis. Extremely difficult for someone who is a self-professed night owl. Considering that some nights I fall asleep when I'm supposed to be waking up to pray, it's a hard task, and one that I'm still working towards doing. However, I know many others who are similar of temperament who have completely given up. They see the size of the rock and say that, "since it's way too big to move, there's no point in trying at all."
I would venture to say that at times, we aren't trying to change our surroundings. At times, we are supposed to change ourselves. If a person strains and pushes at that large rock for enough time, they'll notice a change within themselves. The muscles that they are using will grow stronger, their sense of patience and time will change. They may never move that rock, but maybe they're not supposed to... Maybe there's another, smaller but more important rock that they are supposed to move, and this big rock is just preparation for that task...
We struggle in aspects of our lives because it is necessary. Not everything can be, or should be easy. At times, things must be difficult because we are meant to grow with the experience... There may never be anything we can do about the large rocks in our lives, maybe the obstacles we face are not meant to be overcome, however, the attempt to try... That's where our humanity comes in. Throughout our history, we have never failed to at least attempt the most challenging of tasks.
Back to pushing the rock I go, are you coming?
The rock is large in size, but the man tries. He pushes and strains... no movement.
The man puts his back into it. Bears his might... no movement.
The man puts every ounce of strength he has and pushes. Then when he can push no more, he takes a minute to rest and tries once again... still, no movement.
Finally God returns, and the man apologizes. "I'm so sorry, I just could not move the rock."
God smiles at the man and tells him, "I didn't ask you to move the rock. I asked you to push it."
This short story contains a great deal of wisdom... Many times in our spiritual journeys, we find tasks that are exceedingly difficult. For me, one of these difficult tasks is finding the time and will to wake up early in the morning to pray on a daily basis. Extremely difficult for someone who is a self-professed night owl. Considering that some nights I fall asleep when I'm supposed to be waking up to pray, it's a hard task, and one that I'm still working towards doing. However, I know many others who are similar of temperament who have completely given up. They see the size of the rock and say that, "since it's way too big to move, there's no point in trying at all."
I would venture to say that at times, we aren't trying to change our surroundings. At times, we are supposed to change ourselves. If a person strains and pushes at that large rock for enough time, they'll notice a change within themselves. The muscles that they are using will grow stronger, their sense of patience and time will change. They may never move that rock, but maybe they're not supposed to... Maybe there's another, smaller but more important rock that they are supposed to move, and this big rock is just preparation for that task...
We struggle in aspects of our lives because it is necessary. Not everything can be, or should be easy. At times, things must be difficult because we are meant to grow with the experience... There may never be anything we can do about the large rocks in our lives, maybe the obstacles we face are not meant to be overcome, however, the attempt to try... That's where our humanity comes in. Throughout our history, we have never failed to at least attempt the most challenging of tasks.
Back to pushing the rock I go, are you coming?
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