What I have learned

With the passing of my father comes a time of reflection, of thankfulness and of peace.

Through this I have realized that I have learned a great deal from a great man.

When my father was alive, I remember loving him fiercely, being protective of him almost as one would be protective of their own child, and just as parents are wont to do, I had completely ignored all the lessons my father was teaching me as I helped take care of him.

There are 3 things, 3 lessons that have really stood out for me in my time of reflection.

My father taught me to love. I already knew how to love of course, but through needing my help, through giving me his rare but beautiful smiles, through treating me differently than the rest of the world, I knew that I was very important to him and this of course meant that he was very important to me. Love means many things to many people, but for me, love is truly manifest when you are willing and able to do anything for the betterment of another, when you would give anything to make another smile, when you would fight against anything or anyone else to protect someone. That to me makes up a small part of what it means to love. I truly understood that thanks to my father.

My father taught me patience. Many times he would need to express himself but would be unable to, many times the specific word(s) he was looking for would remain just off the tip of his tongue. Many times, he would simply be cranky... My love for him helped me to endure these... this was truly an amazing way to learn to be patient... by listening to someone you love. Most of us love someone else deeply, but most of us are too preoccupied with our own desires, wants and needs to really listen to those whom we love. I was blessed, I was forced to listen to someone whom I loved, if I didn't listen and stay patient, I would have never understood anything he wished to say. Eventually, listening became a bit more of a habit, and I sincerely hope I can keep on listening through every relationship I have.

The final and most important lesson my father taught me was in humility. My father truly taught me to be humble, but unfortunately, this essential lesson has been more firmly learned only after his passing. Humility is among the most important traits we possess as humans, it is a characteristic that allows us to love, to be spiritual. It keeps us from vanity and allows us to be honest. If I were to be completely honest, I have never truly been a humble person. I have always felt different, and this uniqueness over the years has tended to express itself through pride. My deepest thanks have always gone to God for the many gifts I have received, but I always recognized that in my heart of hearts I was never truly humble. I understood that what I have in my life is not purely my own doing, I have always known that without the love of God, I would be nothing... but this is not all it takes to be truly humble. To be humble, one must acknowledge the impact other human beings have on ones spiritual and material growth. To be truly humble, one's heart must understand that life is not permanent and that everyone leaves unfinished business when they pass. To be truly humble can be depressing... because it means that one must let go of ones identity, abilities and beliefs. Through this, a person can realize the truth. When my father passed away, I realized that the events in my life that I thought were of my own doing, were often linked directly to the actions of my family. When I thought I was on my own, I almost always had many others with me. When I believed that I worked hard to achieve something, often my parents worked even harder than I did to help me to achieve. I was never alone, I have never done anything truly independently... and in this lies the greatest of truths. We are individually, both insignificant and the most significant being in all of creation... at the same time.

Thank you Dad.