an interesting word, with multiple meanings. An individual can show promise, a person can promise something to another, another can promise to never do something again...
whatever the context, the underlying principle behind a promise is that of hope.
Perhaps that is why a promise is considered sacred? For, promises, words given to another with faith and hope behind them carry a great deal of weight. In my interpretation of Islam, a promise is an important thing. When you promise someone something you should do your very best to fulfill that. Because your promise is the hope that you give to that other person... regardless of whether they need that hope or not, by promising another, you become a conduit for hope.
But, where does it end? When I was far younger, I learnt that a close friend had been sexually abused by a family friend. I was devastated and I solemnly looked at the sky and promised God that if that individual who abused my friend got into heaven, then heaven was not a place where I wanted to be. The crazy words of a crazy child. Over the years my conception of heaven has changed as has my belief that looking skywards signifies a place where God is. However, if that promise had been about something else, should it "count"? Is it valid and legitimate?
At the time I made my vow, I meant it with every fibre of my being, It was so important to me that years later, I still remember where I was when I made the promise. Does meaning something at a certain point in time mean that you are bound by it? We all age, we all mature, we all grow older, and wiser with time. With these gifts given by aging, we also gain a disproportionate amount of hindsight. Being able to see where we went wrong, and things that we said at a certain point in time that may not hold as much weight as they do today, or they may hold even more weight.
A promise holds a great deal of weight and importance, but it does not encapsulate the most basic of human traits... dynamism. We do not stay the same, not for an hour, a minute or even a second. We are always changing, which means that a static promise cannot hold sway over our actions for an indefinite period of time.
Which leads to those promises that have to (ideally) hold for the rest of our lives, such as marriage and deep friendship. These relationships need to last, by their nature they negate the earlier statement regarding the importance of dynamism to human nature.
That is the most beautiful thing about human nature, it's contradictory manner.
Certain promises need to exceed a human being's ability to stay the same, because these promises, these relationships are bonds that exceed humanity.
I believe that bonds such as familial bonds, deep friendship and true love are bonds that are not created by us. They are bonds created by God. They are formed to last.
In the context of these bonds, a promise gains even more meaning. In this context a promise becomes something that can last "forever."
So, how do you know whether a promise you make today is one that is going to last or one that cannot last? Treat every promise as though it will last forever, and pray that it does. This, I can promise... is true.
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