I ask this while listening to a melody that I would describe as being one of the most beautiful pieces of music I have ever heard... and I wonder... how would you feel if you heard it? For that matter, how will I feel in 5, 10, 15, 20 or more years? Will I still see the same beauty that I see today?
This is also something that I see in people - I hear people say how, so and so was such a beautiful girl that they would have dozens of boys running after them. I look at the same weathered face that once captured the hearts of so many like me, and I wonder. In this chain of thoughts, my selfishness becomes so apparent. Why do I wonder why a person was beautiful when they were young? Why do I wonder if music I find beautiful will always be so? Because I fear change. I fear time. I fear death. These things are not feared (or so I want myself to believe) because they are inherently scary. I fear these things, because I am afraid of doing the 'wrong' thing. I am afraid that in this change, in this process I will lose something incredibly precious. Like the irreversible loss of innocence, losing the ability to appreciate something beautiful is terrible. This is the true crux of the question. Do our tastes change or over time do we simply lose our appreciation for beauty? Does something beautiful become commonplace over the course of our life experiences or does the inherent aesthetic quality I refer to as beauty pass away to nevermore be seen again?
If it goes, if the ability to see things with the same set of eyes is truly forever gone... then I am scared. Because this means that over time, we lose something that is fundamental to being human... this means that we become less human as we grow older. I do see something similar in some ways. I can feel more detached today than I did when I was younger, I can see situations rationally that at one point would elicit a strong emotional response from me. This may be maturity, or it may be the loss of attachment to something in the material world. If this same detachment occurs with our sense of the aesthetic, would we lose our ability to 'see' beauty in this world?
It's something that does bother me... ... until I think of the nature of beauty. Beauty to me is seeing God. Nothing is more beautiful than God... and in the creation it may be possible to participate in the creator. It's a hope, a dream, a prayer... but it's also all I feel we really have. For I do see the fading nature of beauty, whether it fades as a result of time, taste, belief or experiences. Whether beauty becomes diluted or blends - over time, it seems to decrease... but if the true nature of beauty is God, then that means... that means that all we need to do is search - for true beauty, true majesty is in all of creation. It lies in the lifeless object, in the young, vibrancy of youth, in the sweep of colours, in the mournful cry of the flute and in the wrinkles of a grandmother who has seen more smiles and tears than I can imagine.
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