Loss

When I think of our purpose in terms of existence and the universe I am led to an inescapable fact... That fact is that there must be a reason... After all, what kind of All-Merciful God would separate us from happiness and perfection to put us here without a good reason? Now, I have discussed this earlier, and I believe that we are here to "find" God, to "understand" the Truth and gain Light within our perspective of the universe... but how does being on this Earth help us? How does separation from the Beloved help us?

... I am reminded of the story of Rumi. Mawlana Rumi was a Sufi poet who is the most read poet in the entire world today (yes, even counting Shakespeare). Now, Rumi was a man who had attained a great deal of knowledge, and eventually many traveled from every corner of the world to be his disciple until he met a man who changed his life... His Shams.

As Rumi was teaching his disciples by a riverbank once using several thick, imposing books, a man came walking by, very haggard in appearance and asked what they were learning. Rumi replied, "You wouldn't understand." So, the man took the books and put them in the water of the river creating a great furor, everyone was dismayed that these rare, valuable books were now gone. The man reached into the water and pulled the books out... dry. Rumi was amazed and asked, "How?" To which the man replied, "You wouldn't understand."

So Rumi sought to understand. He spent all of his time with this man, his teacher, his beloved, his Shams, neglecting everything in his life, his wife, children, disciples, all were forgotten. One day late at night, there was a knock at the door, Shams went to answer, and never returned. Rumi searched everywhere for his beloved. He searched in many countries, but was unable to find his Shams... Until, one day, in the midst of his depression, confusion and loss, he realized that Shams was within him still. He came to become self-actualized and realized that he did not love the form of Shams, he loved the God that was expressed in every atom of Shams' being... and he realized this, not through having Shams in his life, but by losing him.

Rumi spent a great deal of time with Shams, learning from him, knowing the truths that Shams knew. However, we do not remember Rumi for how he loved Shams when they were together. We remember Rumi for his intense grief on losing his Shams, we remember Rumi for the poems of longing he wrote, we remember him for the Sema ceremony involving spinning in a circle that he created while in a state of search for his Shams. We remember him for his unity with the Truth... something he could only have attained when he lost his guide.

As human beings, we have lost an exalted status... we were united in the ocean of love that is God, but we have been separated... why? The drop of water from the ocean does not realize the beauty that it is a part of until you allow it to see it from above. The glory of the ocean lies far beyond the water, there are hidden within the water molecules, salt molecules. There are pearls and treasures throughout the ocean, there is life, beauty, there is earth and there is even fire.

Our loss of our exalted status is our presence here on this earth, and it is meant to act as a catalyst to enable change. We are meant to experience this loss and understand that truly, we have not lost anything at all. The ocean never ceases to surround the drop, because the drop contains all of the beauty of the ocean within it.

Is it enough?

I wonder... is it enough to be good?

Being a "good person" is something that is difficult in today's world. It is quite hard to consistently act in a manner which can be construed by the majority of people as "good" (there will always be some people whose personal interests lie opposite the "good" of the majority, so it is truly impossible to please everyone). But, having said this, it is not exceptionally difficult to be a "good person" the majority of the time.

I personally believe that all of us have more goodness than not within us. This may be idealistic, but based on personal experience, I feel that the majority of people want to do what they perceive as being "good" in the majority of cases. The difference lies in where the common good lies, vs. the individual.

So, I do not feel as though being a good person is an incredibly difficult feat, I feel that most of us already do act in a "good" manner in most situations.

So, assuming that my previous, potentially idealistic assumption of human nature is correct...is it enough to be good?

What does it mean to live in our world? I believe that there must be some purpose to our existence here on this Earth... many would say that the purpose is to eventually go to heaven... To those individuals I would ask if it is enough to be good?

Heaven is a conceptual "place" where a soul would travel to if it has lived a "good life"... Is that the only purpose of our existence here on this Earth? To be good people, help others, live fulfilled lives and eventually die and have a part of our essence travel to heaven?

Even if heaven is filled with joys I cannot at this time fathom... it still seems an empty prize for a task that is not exceedingly difficult. Rather, I feel we should strive not to exchange the prison of our souls from the body to a heavenly one... we should each strive for a truth... something deeper that lies beyond.

Why are we here? Is it enough to simply be good? Or is there more to this life?

For some reason, I cannot accept the fact that life could have such a simple goal... that the entire purpose of creation is to live within a subjective framework of "good" and "bad" and through living within this framework to obtain a reward which seems to be quite limited in it's scope.

Why say yes to heaven, when the true goal is a truth that lies beyond it? The truth of why we are truly here.

The Day of Judgment

One of the most common questions I get asked deals with the Day of Judgment.

Now, many people believe that one day there will come a day of reckoning for each of us, when each and every one of us will have to account for our actions. The difference stems from what is literal and what is not literal.

No one truly knows what the term Day of Judgment really means, it is talked about in the Qur'an as being the end of all days, and many philosophers and theologists have attempted to decipher the truth behind what this term means.

Theories behind what it refers to include it being a literal day where the world as we know it will cease to exist and God will judge each individual whether they are presently alive or dead based on their deeds. Other theories state that there are multiple forms of the Day of Judgment, each of us lives through this every day of our lives, we are judged every day by our conduct, we are judged when we die and we are judged when our species will eventually die. Yet another perspective states that the Day of Judgment is a metaphor in it's entirety. Actions are constantly accounted for, however, the Day of Judgment as a physical day does not happen...

All of these probably have some truth to them, but no one can really know what will happen or what this phrase refers to.

I believe that accountability is an important aspect of being human. I feel that we must answer for the wrongs we have done and be acknowledged for the good we have done. However, my perception of God must also play a role in my personal understanding of the Day of Judgment. When I think of God, I think of an entity beyond anything the human mind can conceive... as such, God is beyond the concept of time.

When I think of a Day of Judgment, I feel that there are 2 perspectives... from the human perspective, when we are judged for our actions (whether it be at the end of each day, or at the end of our lives, or at some other time interval), that "time" when we are judged would be the Day of Judgment... from the perspective of the Almighty, the concept of a single day would be irrelevant. God is in all places and times. The God who exists today is the exact same God from millenia ago and will be the same in millenia to come.

I would venture to say that the concept of a Day of Judgment would be flawed because it would be isolated to a Day, when God, who is doing the judging, lies beyond time.

Maybe I'm right, maybe I'm wrong, I guess only time will tell.

Healing

They say that time heals everything.

Yes, it does... but how and why?

When we feel physical pain, as long as we have not lost our life, limbs or anything else irretrievably, we find that over time, our bodies heal by themselves. We have a remarkable capacity to recover from physical wounds because of the design of our bodies.

So, time does result in the healing of most physical wounds, but what about non-physical ones?

When we suffer a mental, emotional or spiritual hurt, does time heal this as well? If so, how?

The obvious answer that most of us can attest to is that yes, time does heal all hurts, even those that are not physical to some extent. Now this does not mean that emotional trauma disappears, even after many years. But, over time the pain that we felt when the physical, emotional, mental or spiritual harm was initially inflicted on us, declines.

Why would this be?

When I think of spiritual, mental and emotional states, the one thing that I see that they all have in common (at least in my limited material experience) is that all of these states relate to the mind. All experiences that lie in this world are experienced through our minds. To some level, all experience is a mental exercise. How can one possibly heal the mind? It is such a complex structure, not one that can be fixed easily...

The one double edged sword that each of us has been granted, the one recovery granted to each of our minds is our ability to forget.

We are not omniscient, we do not know everything and this is for the best. Being limited enables us to actually forget things. Forget pain, forget hurt, forget betrayal, forget our own faults and, ironically... our own limitations.

This is the one escape granted to each of us. Over time, we are given the ability to forget some things. We can sublimate our pain and move on because we slowly forget... Now, if we have lost a loved one, that does not mean that we forget our loved one, far from it. Rather, we do tend to forget our daily interactions with our loved one. We slowly don't miss them quite as much. We slowly move on. We slowly forget little quirks of theirs. We will never (God Willing) truly forget the essence of those we love, but we will forget the details.

Many thought experiments look at what it would be like to have knowledge of everything... I feel that it would be terrible to live as a human while having omniscience as God does. To never be able to truly forget pain. To never be able to move forward and progress... to never truly need to. God in His infinite mercy has given us the gift of forgetting. We can never be perfect, and that is truly an amazing gift.

Adam and Eve

I have learnt throughout my life that there is no conflict between religion and science. In fact, I have been taught that science when properly applied and interpreted is simply another facet of faith, and I sincerely believe this.

But then I hear many "theologists" and "religious individuals" talking about Adam and Eve and how Evolution couldn't have happened. On the other side of the debate stand individuals such as Bill Nye (The Science Guy), and a relatively massive pile of information... so there has to be a conflict right? Only one can prevail!!!

Not quite...

In Islam, our holy book, the Qur'an talks about Hazrat Adam (AS) and Bibi Hawa (Eve - AS), however it also mentions that God speaks to Mankind in parables and allegories, for God is the Knower of all things... So, here is my completely flawed, terribly biased attempt at understanding how, maybe, just maybe there is a way to believe in both a scientific principle as central as Evolution, and believe in the way the Holy books speak of it.

Of course, this requires a disclaimer - there is really no proof of anything I will write, if it offends you, I apologize. My perspective on this may (and likely will) change over the days, months and years, and when I am an older person, this may not hold true to me anymore. Additionally, I realize there are many things written that may contradict this, but it is simply a different way of looking at an issue, I personally believe that you cannot "sandbox" a concept as powerful and vast as Religion within something as limited as Science, so really science can only be one lens through which a person can view religion, but not the only one - however, it is the one that we see most often at odds with belief, so this is my attempt to tackle this.

Science tells us that mankind evolved from a common ancestor with apes and chimpanzees. At one point in time, there was a differentiation that occurred... almost an "AHA" moment, where suddenly a species had changed enough from that common ancestor that it could be called what we know today as "mankind." At one point in time, perhaps there was a single individual, who became cognizant, who became self aware. For the first time in our history there was a part of creation capable of naming itself... Adam.

So far, it could be plausible, God created mankind and the world, and man was created from a clot and formed essentially of base materials (clay of course could also be a metaphor referring to the ability to mould the intellect).

The next part of the narrative where God commands Adam and Eve not to partake of the forbidden fruit and they are tricked into it through the work of the Devil can also be interpreted in many ways. I have always considered that the greatest gift and the greatest curse we have been given has been our intellect. Our sense of awareness allows us to name things, allows us to communicate, pray and love. However, it can also lead to poor decisions, willfulness, anger, hatred, violence, catastrophic power and pride. For this reason, I have often chosen to interpret the devil as a metaphor for the intellect or, more specifically, the nafs al-amarra or the negative aspects of the intellect. Perhaps the garden of paradise that Adam and Eve lived in was a metaphorical garden within the mind. A sheltered place where their innocence as the first cognizant human beings could be expressed. Perhaps when Adam and Eve began to first ponder the nature and existence of God (the forbidden fruit that completely innocent beings cannot partake of), God chose to let them question. God allowed Adam and Eve to be free of the Garden of Paradise, a Garden that was a beautiful place, however, also a prison for their intellects. A place where they would be eternally happy, yet never truly living to their full potential.

Maybe, maybe not... but it's one possible way to think about creation. I personally refuse to believe that Science and Religion disagree completely on things as important as the creation of mankind. Maybe it's a poor compromise, but I feel it's a step in the right direction towards truly understanding religion and it's child, science.

What I have learned

With the passing of my father comes a time of reflection, of thankfulness and of peace.

Through this I have realized that I have learned a great deal from a great man.

When my father was alive, I remember loving him fiercely, being protective of him almost as one would be protective of their own child, and just as parents are wont to do, I had completely ignored all the lessons my father was teaching me as I helped take care of him.

There are 3 things, 3 lessons that have really stood out for me in my time of reflection.

My father taught me to love. I already knew how to love of course, but through needing my help, through giving me his rare but beautiful smiles, through treating me differently than the rest of the world, I knew that I was very important to him and this of course meant that he was very important to me. Love means many things to many people, but for me, love is truly manifest when you are willing and able to do anything for the betterment of another, when you would give anything to make another smile, when you would fight against anything or anyone else to protect someone. That to me makes up a small part of what it means to love. I truly understood that thanks to my father.

My father taught me patience. Many times he would need to express himself but would be unable to, many times the specific word(s) he was looking for would remain just off the tip of his tongue. Many times, he would simply be cranky... My love for him helped me to endure these... this was truly an amazing way to learn to be patient... by listening to someone you love. Most of us love someone else deeply, but most of us are too preoccupied with our own desires, wants and needs to really listen to those whom we love. I was blessed, I was forced to listen to someone whom I loved, if I didn't listen and stay patient, I would have never understood anything he wished to say. Eventually, listening became a bit more of a habit, and I sincerely hope I can keep on listening through every relationship I have.

The final and most important lesson my father taught me was in humility. My father truly taught me to be humble, but unfortunately, this essential lesson has been more firmly learned only after his passing. Humility is among the most important traits we possess as humans, it is a characteristic that allows us to love, to be spiritual. It keeps us from vanity and allows us to be honest. If I were to be completely honest, I have never truly been a humble person. I have always felt different, and this uniqueness over the years has tended to express itself through pride. My deepest thanks have always gone to God for the many gifts I have received, but I always recognized that in my heart of hearts I was never truly humble. I understood that what I have in my life is not purely my own doing, I have always known that without the love of God, I would be nothing... but this is not all it takes to be truly humble. To be humble, one must acknowledge the impact other human beings have on ones spiritual and material growth. To be truly humble, one's heart must understand that life is not permanent and that everyone leaves unfinished business when they pass. To be truly humble can be depressing... because it means that one must let go of ones identity, abilities and beliefs. Through this, a person can realize the truth. When my father passed away, I realized that the events in my life that I thought were of my own doing, were often linked directly to the actions of my family. When I thought I was on my own, I almost always had many others with me. When I believed that I worked hard to achieve something, often my parents worked even harder than I did to help me to achieve. I was never alone, I have never done anything truly independently... and in this lies the greatest of truths. We are individually, both insignificant and the most significant being in all of creation... at the same time.

Thank you Dad.

Selfish Tears

When one we love passes away, we cry...

Why?

Even looking at it from a non-religious standpoint, we don't cry for the deceased. We have no idea what happens to that individual after they die. We can say that we believe they go to heaven, or we know that they are "One with God" or "at peace"...  but in reality, very few people, if any are gifted with the knowledge of exactly what lies after death...

So, what are we crying for?

We cry because that person will no longer share in our lives, that person will no longer make up a portion of our life story. We cry because we must live through a present and a future without them.

We cry because we are selfish...

The person who passes away and has tears shed for them, was such an amazing, AMAZING person, that regardless of faults, pain caused knowingly or unknowingly to others... that person has inspired sadness. That person has given the world gifts that will be sorely missed now that they are gone.

Those selfish tears are all that we are left with... and memories.

I remember my father as a strong man, and as a weak man. I remember him as being many things, angry, sad, happy, but I cry not because of the things I remember about him, I cry because of the gifts he has given me that I cannot recall. I cry because of the moral values he has instilled in every fibre of my being. I cry because my children and grandchildren (if I am given the grace of God to have any) will not have the privilege and opportunity to ever meet a man who has changed so many lives.

The Holy Prophet Muhammad once said, "Paradise lies at the feet of mothers"... for me, I saw Paradise whenever my father smiled.