On Meditation

Meditation or "Bandagi" as it is known in my faith tradition is an essential spiritual exercise.

It helps one to grow, to bond with and interact with a greater power, it is also very difficult. I have attempted to meditate many times throughout my life with differing levels of success, so I thought that for this one post, I would discuss things that have seemed to work for me. It must be noted however, that some of these things worked for me, they may not work for anyone else because meditation is such a private thing. So, in a way, this post is for me to look back on years from now if needed... and hopefully it inspires someone to try something different that may work.

One of the interesting things I have learnt about meditating is that anything goes. When I was young, I used to be very confused about the concept of meditation. What exactly was it? What was I supposed to do? I knew that I was supposed to close my eyes - any doubts regarding that were assuaged when my parents saw me with my eyes open and pointedly told me to shut them, or else... So, my eyes were to be shut, but what then? Was I meant to pray? To ask for things that I wanted? Was I meant to not think? Was I supposed to think about problems afflicting the world and my family? It was all very confusing - eventually I settled on prayer. I would close my eyes and I would simply say a few rote prayers again and again.

I began experimenting with various prayers, and I found that saying certain ones leads me to feel... happier after meditation. Over the years I have come to define success and power in meditative experiences based on how in touch with my own self they make me. How happy I become after my personal prayers and search have ended. So, one way to improve the search was to try different prayers and remember the ones that seemed to give results that I was pleased with. It must be noted though that there is no true success in meditation or bandagi. Success is not within one's abilities to gain, as even the true definition of success in personal search lies beyond our respective imaginations. When I speak of success throughout this entry, I refer to that physical happiness that follows meditation.

Recently, I have discovered the power of the senses in meditation. I remember a few years ago, I had a powerful meditative experience when I simply began to imagine a room full of thousands of people praying with me, saying the same prayers as I was saying. The chorus of voices, although slightly out of sync with each other built upon my prayers and I felt as though everything I was saying was being magnified. The experience was quite eye opening as I hadn't even thought of using my senses before.

Over the past few weeks I have also incorporated "visual aids." My eyes remain closed during meditation, however in my mind's eye I still visualize what I perceive as my internal self. When I close my eyes and view what I believe lies within myself - I see a particular vine that snakes it's way within. When I try to follow this vine to it's source I am transported to a garden. I know it is a garden, but it does not appear to be one - it appears wild and untamed. Weeds are growing everywhere and in every free patch of soil lies a different shade of verdant green. When I look at this garden within I see beauty, but I also see a great deal of ugliness. These weeds are not beautiful. The green shade is lovely, but what about the other colours? What about the flowers that one expects to be within the garden? What about this large tree off to the side of the garden?

Then, as I was within this garden I began to think about the lack of beauty in the garden... how could I change this? There were 2 solutions that I could find. I could begin to plow the garden, to remove the weeds and plant flowers. To clear the land away and organize the vegetation in a manner that was pleasing to me, or... I could change what I saw as beauty.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I could not change the garden. This garden within me was not mine to change. This garden was not simply a construct of my physical mind, it was a part of a spiritual manifestation. The only feasible way to alter the beauty of the garden, would be to change what I saw as beautiful.

If the weeds had to remain, let them stay. If the garden needed to be disorderly, so be it. If the colour green was to be the only colour found within my garden - I would have to learn to love that colour. My perceptions, my own mind and the limitations that it placed upon me, were the only things that I could alter, which would let me truly see the beauty of this garden...

Then the trance ended... and the garden was gone... maybe to never return... maybe the next time I visit my inner self I will see a desert. Maybe it will be a forest or a jungle or a city. Whatever the result, I hope that I can change my perceptions of my inner self, so that instead of looking at the thorns on the weeds, I look at the flowers.

I Promise...

A promise...

an interesting word, with multiple meanings. An individual can show promise, a person can promise something to another, another can promise to never do something again...

whatever the context, the underlying principle behind a promise is that of hope.

Perhaps that is why a promise is considered sacred? For, promises, words given to another with faith and hope behind them carry a great deal of weight. In my interpretation of Islam, a promise is an important thing. When you promise someone something you should do your very best to fulfill that. Because your promise is the hope that you give to that other person... regardless of whether they need that hope or not, by promising another, you become a conduit for hope.

But, where does it end? When I was far younger, I learnt that a close friend had been sexually abused by a family friend. I was devastated and I solemnly looked at the sky and promised God that if that individual who abused my friend got into heaven, then heaven was not a place where I wanted to be. The crazy words of a crazy child. Over the years my conception of heaven has changed as has my belief that looking skywards signifies a place where God is. However, if that promise had been about something else, should it "count"? Is it valid and legitimate?

At the time I made my vow, I meant it with every fibre of my being, It was so important to me that years later, I still remember where I was when I made the promise. Does meaning something at a certain point in time mean that you are bound by it? We all age, we all mature, we all grow older, and wiser with time. With these gifts given by aging, we also gain a disproportionate amount of hindsight. Being able to see where we went wrong, and things that we said at a certain point in time that may not hold as much weight as they do today, or they may hold even more weight.

A promise holds a great deal of weight and importance, but it does not encapsulate the most basic of human traits... dynamism. We do not stay the same, not for an hour, a minute or even a second. We are always changing, which means that a static promise cannot hold sway over our actions for an indefinite period of time.

Which leads to those promises that have to (ideally) hold for the rest of our lives, such as marriage and deep friendship. These relationships need to last, by their nature they negate the earlier statement regarding the importance of dynamism to human nature.

That is the most beautiful thing about human nature, it's contradictory manner.

Certain promises need to exceed a human being's ability to stay the same, because these promises, these relationships are bonds that exceed humanity.

I believe that bonds such as familial bonds, deep friendship and true love are bonds that are not created by us. They are bonds created by God. They are formed to last.

In the context of these bonds, a promise gains even more meaning. In this context a promise becomes something that can last "forever."

So, how do you know whether a promise you make today is one that is going to last or one that cannot last? Treat every promise as though it will last forever, and pray that it does. This, I can promise... is true.

Perfect Faith

Religion is an interesting phenomenon. I am an Isma'ili Muslim, a small community of interpretation in a wider Muslim Ummah, which in turn makes up the wider human race with a myriad of religions, faiths, belief systems and even the lack of any belief at all.

However, one aspect of religion, specifically Islam in general has always made me think about the purpose of religious belief... In Islam we believe that God has revealed His message to Mankind over several millenia, with each message successively bringing Mankind closer to the truth until finally Islam was revealed - the religion of submission, of peace, of tolerance. This is Islam... and when God revealed this faith to Mankind, He completed His favours upon Mankind as religion had finally been perfected in the form of Islam.

... Why perfect it?

That's the question that has stuck with me. Why make it perfect?

Mankind isn't perfect, we make mistakes all the time, we err, we correct some errors, we don't correct others. If it was so important to perfect faith, why is it so fragmented in the first place? Why do we have so many splits and divides in the interpretations of Islam if it was supposed to be perfect? Why are there so many religions in the world today if one is enough?

Many have argued that each interpretation of Islam is relevant and is correct, which is admirable. If this is the case however, why even create Islam in the first place? Why not stick to what was correct about the other faiths that were already extant at the time?

Faith and religion to me represent a pathway to moral behaviour for society and people... however if this was the only purpose for them there would be no reason to lay down hundreds of pathways. Most faiths have similar tenets and encourage people to be good, and often-times the definition of what is "good" is similar if not the same.

To me, this seems to imply that faith and religion occupy a position within the human psyche that extends beyond simple morality. They must have a role that extends beyond something as common as morality, to simply account for the differences in each faith. The more I think about it, the more I believe that religion is needed for people to experience God while alive.

What is the significance behind this? If God cannot be seen, only experienced, there must be different ways in which an individual can experience God. God is infinite and beyond infinite. This means that the number of pathways to reach God must likewise be infinite and beyond infinite. The experience of God is only limited by the experiencer's limitations.

Every faith in the world can lead one to God in some way, and this is the reason for perfection in faith.

Islam as it is practiced today in the world may not be perfect, but the underlying message is. The underlying message of deep submission, of peace, of giving up the very self... Because the self is the key that must be given up to open the door that is God. That's the perfection that needs to be shown to the world. That by it's very name, Islam gives one the answer to what to do to "find" God.